What is this Feeling?
by BrokenButStillStanding
Summary: A series of oneshots about Sai dealing with his emotions for Ino. Rated for chapters 2 and 7. Chapters are interconnected but they can stand alone, in other words you don't have to read chapter 1 to understand chapter 4. Sai x Ino SWITCHED TO COMPLETE
1. Affection

**AN: Hi everyone! SO basically I googled basic human emotions and it gave me a big list. I chose 15 of them and I am going to write 15 one shots about it. SOME OF THEM WILL BE RATED M I WILL LET YOU KNOW WHICH ONES THOSE ARE. This is all from Sai's POV as he deals with learning how to handle his emotions again, it is a very vulnerable time for him since he is so used to hiding them. I will try to upload one chapter every day, I have 7 written right now so that should be pretty attainable. Let me know what you think!**

Affection

Sai was used to feeling affection since he had met Sakura and Naruto. What he wasn't used to was how often he would feel the warmth in his chest. The most recent example of this was with Ino Yamanaka. There was no way that Sai could continue to deny the existence of his heart because every time he laid eyes on her when she was laughing with her teammates he would feel a strange sort of comforting warmth surround him. Every time she sent a smile in his direction, he would feel his stomach skip with happiness. To be honest, it unsettled him on a very large degree. He could write a book about all the reasons he should not become attached to the blonde!

First off, she was loud and boisterous.

Second of all he wasn't ever sure what to say around her.

Third, he never knew when he would be clobbered over the head.

Fourth is that she was the bossiest person he had ever met.

Fifth was that she cared far too much about her appearance.

But for all the arguing he did with himself, he couldn't seem to shake the feeling. He wished that she would just do something to make him hate her, because the affection he felt for her made him feel uncomfortable in his own skin. For all the reasons he had created to avert himself from the woman, he could think of something wonderful about her to replace it.

First, she was outspoken and wasn't afraid to speak her mind

Second, she kept him on his toes and it was always exciting to talk to her

Third, she wasn't afraid to stand up for herself. She refused to be disrespected.

Fourth, even though she bossed him around quite a bit he knew that she wouldn't ever treat him differently because he hadn't had a conventional childhood

Fifth, although she may be hung up on her looks he couldn't deny that she had a certain kind of beauty about her.

When he had first met the woman he had thought she was ugly, but watching her in battle and listening to her speak had made him realize that she was beautiful. Everything about her added up to this subtle kind of beauty that would sneak up on you until it hit you in the face one day.

He hated having affection for Ino Yamanaka. But he did, and there was no way to stop it.


	2. Lust

**AN: WARNING TO ALL YOU KIDDOS OUT THERE. THIS IS A RATED M CHAPTER. I REPEAT, THIS IS A RATED M CHAPTER**

Lust

Sai was no stranger to lust. He was a pubescent adolescent male at some point in his life of course. What he wasn't used to was associating this lust to a certain person. A certain female in fact, a female who plagued his dreams at night and left him wishing for a cold shower when he woke up. He wasn't sure why Ino had been the subject of his fantasy world, she wasn't anything remarkable. She wasn't the most beautiful woman in the village, she wasn't the strongest or the smartest, but it was her and no one else that tormented him. He had begun to avoid the blonde as much as possible, and for a while it had been working. His dreams had become less and less raunchy and as a result he wouldn't have to subject himself to freezing water in order to calm down. Unluckily for Sai, the other day he had been assigned on a simple recon mission with the woman. Every time she said something, every time she giggled or smiled or gave him one of those sly looks she so often did his pants would grow tighter and tighter. He seemed to have gotten through the day alright, not stepping out of bounds even once despite his urges. He was rather proud of himself, or so he thought.

 _She crawled on top of him, her scantily clad body rubbing against him as her blonde hair spilled onto her shoulders. Her breasts pushed into his chest as she ground herself into his arousal, slowly placing teasing wet kisses on his jawline and down his neck. She smirked as she kissed her way down his heaving chest and gave him a sultry look as she reached his underwear, reaching to pull his length out-_

Sai woke up panting and covered in sweat. He groaned as he realized with frustration that he had a rather troublesome erection. With a tormented sigh he trudged to his restroom as he turned the shower nozzle to cold in hopes of getting rid of his little problem. He was almost used to the discomfort that his stiff member would cause him in the mornings, but if anything that made him feel worse about what he was feeling. He couldn't look Ino in the eye these days, he never even had this big of a problem when he was first going through puberty. The 18 year old stepped into the shower and winced as he felt the icy spray hit his skin. He patiently waited for his member to calm down, letting out a groan of frustration as he realized that the shower wasn't working. He turned the nozzle so that the water slowly warmed up and he prepared to take care of his arousal manually. He hated mornings like this the most, he felt so dirty afterwards.

As the water grew lukewarm, Sai slid down so he was sitting on the floor of the shower and with a deep breath began his sin. He grunted as he grasped his cock, it was slick from the shower and the amount of precum that leaked out of the head. Sai began to slowly stroke his erection, imagining that it was Ino's hand instead as he pulled his foreskin up and down. He choked on a moan as he breath caught in his throat, the image of her pale thighs and smooth stomach taking over his fantasies as his mind began to fog up. The striking visual image of Ino with her mouth wrapped around his cock seized his mind and he let out a noise that sounded halfway between pain and pleasure. With the image fresh in his mind, he stroked himself harder and faster until he was panting and letting out desperate moans every other stroke. It took an embarrassingly short amount of time before his back arched and his voice caught, a strangled moan ripping from his lips as spurts of his essence roped across his stomach and washed down the drain.

Sai didn't know how long he sat at the bottom of the shower, legs sprawled and hand around his length as he panted and tried to catch his breath. The feeling of disgust overwhelmed him as he realized what he had once again done.

Out of all his emotions, he thinks he hates lust the most.


	3. Longing

Longing

As someone who wasn't used to emotions, Sai would have thought that longing was much like lust. Except it wasn't. As far as Sai could tell, lust was the drive of his carnal desires. He felt none of that as he watched Ino flip her silky hair over her shoulder as she laughed at something Sakura had said.

 _I just want to hold her_

Sai was startled at the thought running through his head. He didn't want to hold her. He wasn't that kind of person. But as much as he continued that mantra in his head, he couldn't help but think about what it would be like to hold Ino Yamanaka. He imagined that she would cuddle into his arms as they sat together. His arms wrapping around the woman and knowing that she was his.

A few days later he felt the longing again. This time he felt it as he watched Ino hug her team mates goodbye as they went to their respective homes.

 _I just want to hug her so badly_

He denied it again. He was Sai, he didn't hug people. But he wanted to wrap his arms around her waist and bury his face into her neck as they breathed each other in. He could feel a sense of peace as he imagined it.

Part of him wanted to cut all ties with the woman to make this feeling stop. He wasn't used to feeling so gentle and soft towards someone. At least with lust he was familiar with the adrenaline and aggressive nature that accompanied it. He could work with that. He always has. But he felt so vulnerable as he laid in his bed that night, thinking to himself

 _I just want to kiss her_

The gentle aura that surrounded him as he grasped onto his pillow was new. He wasn't a gentle person, but he wanted to capture the blonde's lips softly as he kissed her. Even though Sai was somewhat afraid of this new emotion and the response it was eliciting from him, he enjoyed the sense of affection and peace he felt as he thought about Ino.

He never would have imagined he could feel this many emotions for a single person. Sometimes he wondered if this is what love was. This terrifying whirlwind of affection, lust and longing all pertaining to one woman. He didn't know if he was even capable of love, at least not the kind of love that he believed Ino deserved. She deserved someone who could give her the world and more, and someone as emotionally stunted as he was could never give her that. She was just so human, more human that he could ever hope to be. He had seen her laugh and cry and yell and scream and he always found himself drawn to her face. He never knew what he would uncover by her expressions, the pure unadulterated feeling that was expressed there without her even knowing it was incredible. The pure human beauty she embodied when she released them enthralled Sai.

 _I just want to be good enough for her_


	4. Cheerfulness

Cheerfulness

Sai was used to feigning cheerfulness. Only recently had he felt true happiness among his friends. He never knew what a powerful bond friendship could be until he met Naruto and Sakura. Ino was an interesting woman, she seemed to have a cheerful face on most of the time. However, Sai could see right through her empty smiles and laughs. He came to understand that people would do this as to not worry others. He didn't understand why. There were so many people who cared for Ino, he couldn't fathom why she didn't let the bonds of friendship help carry her burden. If there was anything that Naruto had taught him, it was that friends were there to help you and to lift you up. But she still went on with her masked smiles and fake laughs.

He was an more of an observer, he didn't usually trespass in the personal affairs of his friends (he still had to get used to that word). But one day when he had been observing Ino sitting on a bench and giving a fake smile to those who would stop to talk, he decided he would do something. He hummed in contemplation as he took out his sketchbook, hoping that the girl would stay seated long enough for him to make his point.

He captured her eyes and the way they didn't light up when she laughed. He captured the forced nature of her smile and the way she hunched over as if guarding herself from the outside world. He wasn't sure how long he had been sitting there, perfecting every detail of the young woman's face as he sketched. As he finished, he stood and strode over to the blonde who was still sitting on the bench she had adopted.

"Oh, hello Sai" she greeted with another fake smile as he sat down next to her.

"Is there something troubling you?" Sai asked, not expecting a truthful answer

"No, I'm fine" she brushed it off, sending him another painfully fake smile. Sai silently handed her his sketchbook, the page flipped open to the portrait he had drawn of her moments earlier. She looked surprised as she gazed at the drawing.

"This is amazing…but why are you showing me this?" she stammered, obviously taken aback by the gesture. Sai pointed a finger at the face on the sketch

"You may think you are projecting happiness, but I still see that the girl in the picture is sad. The way she sits and the way she smiles" he said. Ino sniffled as she looked away from him. Sai looked alarmed, he hadn't meant to make her cry.

"I…I just miss my father" she said, so low he had to strain to hear it. Her father. Sai knew the feeling of losing someone you loved, and he knew there was no way for him to bring her smile back. He just wanted her to be cheerful again, so he began to speak.

"I had a brother named Shin…" he proceeded to tell her all about his adoptive brother, and as he told her of the fond times they had (being extra careful to leave out anything gruesome) he began to notice a genuine smile start to creep onto her face. Soon enough she was laughing and sharing stories of her own. Just seeing her smile made Sai cheerful. He always wanted to see her smile, and with any luck he would be there to make sure she always did.


	5. Pride

Pride

Having pride for himself he could understand, but feeling pride for someone else was a bit confusing to Sai. But here he was, smiling as she kicked the ass of an older Ninja who had insinuated that has a medical-nin she couldn't fight as well as the others. While Naruto may have taught him that friendship is one of the most important things a man can have, Sakura had taught him that you should never underestimate a woman. He could think of no better example than what he was witnessing currently. The blonde woman's eyes were narrowed and there was a dark aura around her as she focused on the fight she was in. He was certain that nothing could break her focus at the moment, she was locked in on her opponent and he was all that she saw. Even though he really had no connection to Ino other than a friend, he felt so proud of her as she proved that she was a force to be reckoned with.

"Still think I'm weak!?" she shouted at the foolish ninja who had made the mistake of underestimating her. The woman was currently standing behind her opponent, she tapped her sparring weapon on the top of his spinal chord. Defeat.

"How-" the man started, turning around in shock as the blonde glared at him.

"You know you really shouldn't disrespect medical-nin. The next time you need someone to save your life I might not be so accommodating" she almost spat. He could tell she was still furious, it was no secret that she was a little touchy about the fact that she wasn't as strong as some of her former classmates.

To Sai it didn't matter. The woman was brilliant with her mind and that was a weapon all in itself. When he watched her fight he could see the calculation in her eyes as she plotted her next move. She was just as brilliant by herself as she was in a team situation.

"What the heck-" a voice sounded behind him. Naruto stood with his mouth dropped open at the sight of the demolished training room. He seemed to be grappling for the right words for a while before he finally stepped up next to Sai and spoke to him

"What the heck happened here?" He managed. Usually if there was any destruction it was left by Naruto himself, so he was surprised to see a mess that he had no part in.

"Don't underestimate medical-nin" Sai summarized for his friend. Naruto just nodded dumbly, still staring at the wreckage.

"Well I'm going to get out of here before someone thinks I did this" the man in the orange jumpsuit says as he turns and exits just as quickly as he had entered.

Sai still couldn't shake the pride.

 _Thats right_

he thought

 _Nobody underestimates my girl_


	6. Optimism

Optimism

Sai had no idea how she could be so optimistic all the time. He could tell her almost anything and the woman would find some sort of bright side to it. Although at first glance you would guess otherwise, Ino had an extremely kind heart and personality to match it. Anything you threw at her would be caught with a kind of grace he couldn't fathom.

Someone had broken her kunai?

She needed a new one anyways.

She got a stain on her favorite outfit?

She needed to wash it soon so this just pushes her to do it.

She even carried the optimism with her in personal matters. He had seen the woman go through thick and thin and always turn it around so she would inspire hope.

Her father had died. He knew how losing a loved one felt and he wasn't sure how she could be so optimistic about it. He was watching down on her and smiling, she had told him.

One instance happened where she had been asked out on a date (much to Sai's disapproval). He had noticed her sitting at the ramen shop by herself for an hour and a half before he approached her, only to learn that her date had too her up. She had told him that it just proved that he wasn't the right one for her anyways.

Of course that didn't stop Sai from paying a visit to her date later and teaching him a lesson about respect.

Throughout everything she was smiling and happy. She always had words of inspiration and drive to be better. It seemed as though nothing could stop her. Little did Sai know that the turmoil still built inside the blonde woman as she carried these burdens.

Until one day she snapped.

"Oh whats the use!" she yelled, every eye was on her as she attempted to wipe the ink stain off of her shirt. With a huff she stormed away, without a second thought Sai got up to follow her. She was angrily rubbing at her face and walking when he caught up with her.

"What do you want" she demanded. Sai knew he wasn't the greatest at understanding emotions and how other people felt, but he tried his best to empathize as he pulled out his ink bottle and poured some of it on his own shirt. Ino stared at him with a shocked look in her eyes. She began to open her mouth but shut it as he explained himself

"Tie dye" he said. Another moment ticked past before Ino doubled over in laughter, all negativity gone from her expression. Sai mentally high fived himself.

He decided he liked her optimism.


	7. Entrallment

**AN: Hi guys! I am just here to warn you that THIS CHAPTER IS RATED M. M AS IN MEGA SUPER SEXY TIMES. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED**

Enthrallment

Sai's heart was beating one million miles an hour as the blonde climbed on top of him in nothing but her chest bindings and her panties. He couldn't believe this wasn't a dream, now that reality was sinking in he didn't know what to do as the enchantress kissed him. He had been waiting for this moment longer than he had realized, when the woman had kissed him earlier that day he felt as if he had been hit over the head.

As quickly as he had been entranced he snapped out of it and returned her kiss with fervor. He rolled them over so he was on top of her, quickly unwrapping her chest bindings as his fingers shook in anticipation. When her breasts were revealed he immediately kissed down her neck and lavished them with attention. He wanted to do everything he had ever dreamed of to her, but he knew that he wouldn't last very long this time. He had been waiting for far too long. Ino pulled him back up for another kiss and as he returned it she ground her hips into his with a moan. Sai was a little nervous, he wasn't good with reading emotions and he was afraid he would do something wrong.

"Are you certain about this?" He panted as be broke away from the kiss

"Yes…why would I let you get this far if I wasn't?" she questioned, sounding breathless.

"I don't know. I'm still not good at this whole reading emotions thing, remember?" he reminded her with a slight teasing tone. He reached down between them and slipped her panties off of her legs, taking notice of the blush on her face as she tried to close her legs. He caught hold of her calves and looked her in the eye with every bit of sincerity he could muster.

"You are absolutely gorgeous" he said. She laughed and her blush faded a little bit as she raised an eyebrow.

"Really? Or is it opposite day again?" She teased. He grinned as he returned to her mouth and kissed her again before answering

"I am not lying. You are gorgeous" he whispered, reaching between her legs and probing the wetness with his fingers and making the woman underneath him whimper. He couldn't take it after he heard that sound, he spread her legs and revealed her womanhood to him. He felt as though he was going to explode with lust as he stretched her out a little by scissoring his fingers inside of her and making her moan. When he was sure she would be ready he lined himself up and began to push his way into her tight opening. He let out a strangled moan as he struggled to stay still, pushing through her barrier. Ino made a small noise of discomfort and squeezed her eyes shut, he kissed her eyelids as he took a deep breath to try to control himself.

"Move" she granted, and move he did. It wasn't long before he was rapidly pushing in and out of her, she was crying out in pleasure and he was letting out grunts and groans as he showered her with kisses. Everything boiled up, the longing, the affection, the lust, everything boiled up between them.

"I-Ino" he moaned, she returned a warped form of his name as she threw her head back in pleasure.

"Sai! Oh!" she made out. He attacked her exposed throat with kisses, he had been waiting so long and he knew he would crave the pleasure she gave him for the rest of his life.

He knew he was slowly reaching his peak, so he reached between them and found the little bump between her legs that made her scream in pleasure. As he rubbed her clit her insides tightened around his cock and he almost crumpled over in ecstasy. He felt himself about to tip over the edge as all the pleasure build up, but before he could cum the most beautiful thing he had ever seen happened.

Ino arched her back, pushing her breasts in the air as she let out a breathy moan and locked eyes with his. He lost it and shuddered as he came, grasping her in a tight embrace as they came down from their high. They were both panting, his cock still resting inside of her as they kissed once more.

"I hope you realize I'm never letting you go now" Sai warned, now that he had been granted a taste of heaven he would surely come back for more.

"Good. Because I'm not letting you go either" she responded. Sai sat back and looked at her, her blonde hair messy and her skin shining with sweat. She was breathing hard and looking at him with hooded eyes in all her naked glory. With a crooked smile she beckoned him closer with her finger.

And in that moment he truly understood enthrallment.


End file.
